Fat Cats

Kevin is in the living room right now listening to what he describes as "African psychedelic rock from the 1960s." You think I'm kidding? Ha! This is what happens to you when you get older...it's too hard to follow the hip and the now, so you just start getting really, really into world music. Oh well, I'm headed that way myself, probably.

Tonight I drew a little heart on his shoulder with a pen, and then I asked him to draw something on my back. He drew a little bunny rabbit in the middle of the desert, standing next to a cactus and staring out at a sunset. Am I lucky or what?!?!?!

I just looked over at one of our cats. They are disturbingly fat. When they walk, their belly fats just rock back and forth ever so gently. I don't know if it bothers them or not, but I say let the cats be fat. They only have one life to live while we as humans are lucky enough to have Eternal Salvation in Heaven with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, if we follow his way and his word.

Wow, it was weird/crazy to write that. I just wanted to see what it felt like to be an evangelical Christian for a minute...I felt very sure of myself. It was a strange feeling.

No offense to evangelical Christians. Do what floats your boat. Just stay off mine.

That's as political or whatever as I'm going to get on this blog. Tomorrow it's back to Cathy cartoon shit like worrying about my butt in a bathing suit and should I eat this candy bar? Aaack!!!

Seal It Up!

Today I'm thinking about things my father taught me. I think the most important lesson I ever learned from my dad is:

When you are taking a shower, make sure to take the shower curtain (or liner, if you have one of those) and create a seal inside the bathtub. If you don't...if you, say, just let the shower curtain hang outside the tub...well, water just goes everywhere. All over the floor, all over the bathroom carpet, etc. I realized the importance of this lesson this very morning when I went into the bathroom and found K-Dawg recreating an Esther Williams movie in our john.

So remember, seal it up!

Other Important Things My Dad Taught Me

Area = length times width.
The more efficiently you stack a dishwasher, the more money you save!
Always check the pilot lights before going to bed, or you could die.
Weird guys can see inside a lit bedroom at night easier than they can when it's daytime.
If you take a crap, don't spray that flowery smelling spray stuff, because then you only end up with flowery smelling crap.

Thanks Dad.

I Have Been Ignoring White Wine

So I just got back from some drinks with an old friend...I had several glasses of white wine. I think I have been writing off white wine for too long now. During a hot Houston summer it is actually as refreshing as a cold beer...but without the gassy feeling you get from chuggin' too many brewskis. Also, it does not stain your teeth and lips like red wine.

Up until tonight, red wine seemed more sophisticated, more adult...a more cigarette smokin', philosophy readin', nervous artistin' kinda thing. Now I realize I've been ignoring the virtues of el vino blanco.

Or maybe I'm just getting old.

Talk to me in about 3 years and I'll be going on and on about the glories of wine spritzers or some shit like that.

Bowling Alley

The name of this blog comes from a sign I saw at a bowling alley once.

Right now I'm reading "Don't Kill The Freshman" by Zoe Trope. It's a memoir by a then 15-year-old high school freshman. Oh my god. The bicurious angst is just dripping off the page. The part where she starts reading Bukowski in the hallway is enough to make you pee your pants. It's crazy. Shit, I still have my old high school diaries...anyone want to give me a six figure book advance for them? Still, I can't look away. We were all there once. She's just lucky to make some money off her teen alienation.

(Best line from Heathers: "My teen angst bullshit has a body count.")

I'm almost done with Andrea Dworkin's memoir "Heartbreak: Political Memoir of a Feminist Militant." Man, if that doesn't get the guys at the coffee shop running my way I don't know what will...actually, who cares if they run. I'm engaged.

There's something really awesome about the way an engagement ring just deflects guys. The last time I was drinking alone at Rudz this gross old drunk started hitting on me, offering to buy me a drink...then he spotted the ring. "You married?" (Or rather....youuussh marriedsfgfdfd?")

"I'm engaged," I told him...and he backed off. If I hadn't been engaged I would have had to tell him to scram, leave me alone, I want to read and drink in peace.

Nothing better in the world sometimes than a book, a drink, a pub grub meal and being all alone.

Oh, and I got the new Sleater Kinney album today, The Woods. It's kinda Led Zeppleny in this really unexpected way. The songs are like 5 minutes long with guitar solos and everything. But the girls of SK are still rocking hard, and that's what matters to me. The minute they get all vagina music on me is the day I stop listening.

Okay enough for now, I'm going to bed.

Zine Queen Accepts Blog World

I used to make a zine, now I'm writing in a blog. I miss the smell of rubber cement but I dare say this is cleaner.

I'm drinking Lone Star out of the old fashioned cans (65th anniversary) and watching the double G (that's girl slang for The Golden Girls).

Okay, that's enough for now.