There's Nothing Like an Old-Fashioned Obscene Phone Call!

It's close to midnight, and I just got an obscene phone call from a man who claimed we went to school together and he "missed that SWEET ASS!"

What the!?!?!

Is it just me, or are obscene phone calls a little 1987? I mean, in this day and age with the spam and the dirty pictures people can sent you via the Internet and the PENISZ EXXTR BIGG 2NITEE!!!! E-mail messages and God knows what else, obscene phone calls are a little...dare I say...quaint. A reminder of a time when unwanted pornographic communication was not sent via faceless, voiceless computers but through a simple little phone line that connected us human being to human being.

So, to the 48-year-old fat virgin who still lives with his mother...thanks for calling me tonight. You made me believe in the innocence of America again.

And you're right about the ass.