Not Handy

So I went over to my friend Tamarie's new house this weekend and witnessed the benefits of having a handy man in your life. Tam's man, Zach, is quite handy, creating numerous wooden structures that perform such useful things like holding clothes or makeup or dishes or what have you. Zach makes custom cabinetry. Zach is handy.

Kevin, God love him, is not. I remember once when we were trying to install a window AC Unit and finding him completely unable to do it, I screamed at him.

"My father could fix anything in the house, and you can't even install a window AC Unit!"

"Well," Kevin retorted, "neither can you. If you don't know how to do something, it's probably true that I don't know how to do it either!"

I feel real lousy about that incident...so today I want to make a list of the benefits of having Kevin around even though he is not handy. The man truly is knowledgable...just not about woodworking.

Because of Kevin, I know...

what a click track is
how Keith Moon died
you should never eat inside a tent
the history of Houston head shops
how to get a cat to purr really loudly
how good Grey Gardens is
where the best taqueria is
how the Houston freeway system is laid out
why Thelonious Monk is this really big deal
why Miles Davis is this really big deal
why Howlin' Wolf is this really big deal
all the words to Waterloo Sunset by The Kinks
the best way to make friends with a stray dog
how to identify a bird
how to spend the day doing absolutely nothing
how to be sweet and good

And you know what? I can't cook for shit, but Kevin doesn't give me grief about it.

I LOVE MY NON-HANDY MAN.