Petticoat Junction

I needed a petticoat for my wedding dress, and last night I was in deep fear that I would not ever find one.

Fortunately, my dear friend Sharon helped me locate one...last night we were on the phone while simultaneously surfing the online store of a place in Washington state literally called "Petticoat Junction."

Sample conversation:

"Okay, so this one might be long enough, but it's of that nylon material."

"What I need is, like, a crinoline?"

"Do you think that you could just get a short petticoat and just have it made longer? Or a long one and have it made shorter?"

If you'd told me back in the day when I didn't shave my pits and shit that I would be saying the word "petticoat" approximately 1,254 in one day, I would have thrown my copy of Sisterhood is Powerful at ya and laughed out loud.

We finally found one...we went to a store called "I Do, I Do" and found a nice one that has to be altered. At around 10:30 this morning I found myself standing on a box while a woman with a vague Eastern European accent stuck me with pins and muttered to herself. Not far from me, a fellow bride-to-be sobbed quietly as she was told that her veil was not yet ready.

Instead of calling it "I Do, I Do" it should be called "Torture Chamber for Middle Class Girls."

Anyhoo...so...yeah...I'm getting married!