The Poo Goes Down

So our toilet (our one and only toilet) is on the fritz.

It all started Sunday night when Kevin's urine would not flush. We tried plunging and plunging and nothing worked. It would flush real lazy-like, like some urine would go down and sort of swirl around in the bowl. But there was not that one satisfying flush that lets you know God's in His Heaven and all's right with the world.

So we kept plunging.

Well Monday arrives and when I got home I proceeded to have a bowel movement. And I flushed. And I thought it went down, thought the problem was fixed. I mean, I looked down into the bowl and there was nothing.

Kevin came home an hour or so later and started walking to the bathroom.

"It seems like it's working," I announced. "I guess my poo went down."

There was silence from the bathroom...then Kevin goes, "Except...it didn't."

I raced to the john. My poo had somehow slid back into the toilet bowl from wherever I thought it had gone. Sneaky little turd...how dare it betray me!

You know, there are just a few things in life I think you should be able to trust:

**The light goes off in the refrigerator when you shut the door.
**The birth control pill is not candy and actually, truly, 99% of the time really works.
**The poo goes down.

When I saw my poo just sitting there I screamed, "Oh my God, my poo! It's back! I'm so grossed out!"

"We're never having sex again," Kevin replied.

Now that I've gone ahead and revealed too much, I'll say we spent the night peeing in the shower. The plumber came today and we have to get our pipes cleaned to the tune of $$$$$. The toilet might get fixed, but let me say I lost a little bit of my innocence last night.